Looks are deceiving....or 'we don't see things as they are,
we see them as we are' Anais Nin
I have finally left the long 10km plus rows behind me and
have entered a new phase of training for speed. Short bursts of 500 or 300
meters at sub race pace interrupted by short breaks. This does not sound too
bad, I thought, and the pace Ali, my trusted rowing coach from Seal Personal
Training http://www.sealpersonaltraining.com,
suggested seemed achievable. That the idea is to do 10 of these so called
intervals my conscious mind had conveniently glossed over and by the time
I realised the extend of the task I was already committed.
The first 2 sprints were fine but then the clock during the
break seemed to run faster and faster and I did not get enough rest to even
catch my breath. By Interval 4 I had convinced myself that it was impossible to
keep rowing at this speed and promptly missed the target by a smidgen. For
interval 5 I had gathered myself again and steamed along annoyed at missing the
target and furious at Ali for setting such an 'unrealistic' goal and in doing
so rowed too fast leaving me even more exhausted. Interval 6 and 7 were a
constant stream of negotiations with myself interspersed with Ali's alternating
tone of encouragement and military commands. Interval 8 and 9 are just a
distant memory of intense pain, internal arguments, bullying, urging,
persuading, intense anger and self pity. How I got through the last one I
cannot remember however Ali filmed my rowing effort so I could have a look and
find out.
After I enjoyed a long stretch, a hot shower and a cup of
tea I felt ready to watch the video of my row. I still find it hard to believe
what I saw.
There I was gliding along in rythmic strokes the sound of
which makes me want to go to sleep as I watch. There is a face showing
intense concentration, the occasional flicker in the eyes or the slight
raising of an eyebrow indicating some happenings which are otherwise invisible.
I think I can make out a little moan which is drowned out by the background
music in the gym. I can see the shoulders tensing and then relaxing again in
response to Ali's reminders. The sun is shining through the large windows, the
sky is bright blue and the birds are enjoying themselves on the lake in the
park outside. How could I have missed all this whilst I was rowing? The scene
that unfolds on the screen is that of serene harmony and is in stark contrast
to what I remember.
How can this be? None of the turmoil, the excruciating pain,
the debating is visible. My internal experience does not seem to be reflected
in what can be observed. So which picture is true?
You choose! You can see me struggle to earn your donation or
you can sponsor me in admiration for making it look so easy. Either way, please
support my effort to raise funds for Jan.
Thank you.
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